I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
