The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We need to get me chipped asap
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize