You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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