I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
