I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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