i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
