I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
