and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
