her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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