the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
