tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
