Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
