i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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