Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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