is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
