he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
