Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
