its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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