I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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