You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
