I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
