Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
