Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
