She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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