There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
