Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
