Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
