Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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