whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
