OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
