Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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