I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
