Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
