You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
