Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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