Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize