We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
