good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
false alarm, still single
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