I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
