i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
