It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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