just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
