hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize