My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
