i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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