the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize