I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Come on in and take your pants off
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
