It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize