my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
