Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
whose ass print is on the piano?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
