Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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