Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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