When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
