I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
