whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
