if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
