Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
