no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
