school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
