Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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