he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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