I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
