dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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