Don't you send me to vm
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
