My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
