My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
